


(I'm not) What You Want

by Pomelofangirl



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, M/M, they fight and nothing is ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 05:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4775747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomelofangirl/pseuds/Pomelofangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rin and Haru talk about their future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(I'm not) What You Want

**Author's Note:**

> This could be very ooc maybe. I thought "wow ok another fluffy rh fic ahead" but then decided against that.

He saw Rin in person, once a year.

It was Haru's decision to stay in Iwatobi when he finished his olympic career.  
He saw the world and he liked the times he spent travelling with Rin.  
But one day it had to end. Haruka had this longing for home, for familiarity, for things unchanging.

Of course, after seeing the world, Iwatobi seemed smaller than ever. Makoto told him that years ago, after he finished his studies. Iwatobi seemed so much smaller than Tokyo, and the trainride to Samezuka took only half an hour, which was much shorter than navigating in Tokyo, not to mention 8 hour flights from one country to the other.

Haruka wanted Rin to stay with him, but he knew that in this case, they are different. They don’t have similar goal anymore, or anything to look forward to.

Rin went back to Australia and it didn’t seem as if he wanted to come back to Japan.  
Haruka knew that he won’t.

They see each other once a year, and when they do it is intense. They can’t take their hands off each other. They spend lazy afternoons in the sofa, cuddling watching something on tv that they don’t really pay attention to.  
Haruka lays his head on Rin’s torso and it seems to Rin that he is asleep. He claims to do that often because with Rin he feels safe and he sleeps best.

Rin doesn’t look at him, but Haruka looks up at the ceiling. The paint is old and cracked in some places, however it still looks good if you just glance at it, and not stare as if your life choices depended on it.

Then, Haruka looks up to Rin, who looks at him in return.  
“Could you be happy, here with me?” he asks, looking at Rin’s face for recognition of his emotions. Rin is much more expressive in his facial gestures, and Haruka doesn’t really have to look that close to notice his conflict. At this point he could read Rin’s emotions from his voice.

“You know that I am happy with you, no matter where we are.” says Rin and looks at Haru so adoringly, as if he saw the worlds greatest miracle for the first time. Haru has yet to get rid of the weakness this love gives him, and it doesn’t matter that Rin looks at him like that since the moment they met.

“I don’t doubt that. But could you be _here_ , with me, and not over there?” it was said with a bit of annoyance, for this isn’t the first time Haru has asked this question.

Although it was his decision to make and Rin agreed that it is best for him, everything too new and too overwhelming and different and that is not really the life Haruka has signed up for. 

“Haru, you know that I can’t.” 

“That is only because you do not want to. This town is for small for you, the great Rin Matsuoka, right? If you wanted to, you could come back. After all you still have a family here.” something in Haru's eyes told him that it's not Kou and his mother he means but rather him, and their future together. 

But Rin was not ready for that. To stay in one place, for certain and never go anywhere else. To have responsibilites that don't deal with his career or self image. To care for others not in a friendly way but in the most important way that everyone told him to.

Rin was not ready to settle down.

“You say it like you know everything about me.” he says and doesn't look at Haru.

“Because I know that if you really want something, you do everything to get it.” Haru got up from the sofa and it was as if he was about to leave, but not without taking a last glace at Rin.  
Rin knew what this look meant, for Haru’s eyes were always more expressive than his words. It didn’t change over the years. His eyes grew darker, and the face had an expression of someone bitter.

_And I know that I am not what you want anymore,_ Haru seemed to say.

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think :)


End file.
